


Tony Stark Magical Inventing Expert

by MysticMedusa



Series: 5+1 [6]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Confused Phil Coulson, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Crack, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-04
Updated: 2017-05-04
Packaged: 2018-10-28 03:33:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10822875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MysticMedusa/pseuds/MysticMedusa
Summary: After the avengers are formed Fury is still concerned about Tony Stark who shouldn't have been able to build a armored suit with scraps so he send Coulson to watch over him. Coulson doesn't think there's a reason to be concerned...ridiculous and impossible situations follow and Coulson's almost certain he's gone insane





	Tony Stark Magical Inventing Expert

1

 

“The guy built his first suit in a cave with scraps, that shouldn’t be possible.” Fury said as he was once again examining Tony’s file even though the man had already proven to work as one of the avengers.

“The guy’s a genius; I don’t think we have to worry too much sir.” Coulson said in defense of the genius.

“I don’t like it; I want you to watch him. You’ll handle the avengers, that way he won’t know you’re there to watch him.”

Coulson sighed but accepted his mission. He didn’t think there was a problem. Fury was director of Shield for a reason though. He just wouldn’t understand the need for the suspicion until later after several kidnappings of the avengers and attacks later.

The first kidnapping was Tony and Natasha. Natasha was giving her report because Tony had skipped out on it. Coulson was looking at her trying to keep the straight face of a proper agent of Shield but he found himself failing a bit.

“You want to repeat that again?”

Natasha sighed.

“We were both held captive in cells right next to each other.”

“Ok I got that part.” He said because this isn’t where she lost him.

“Tony was the one to help us get out.”

“Ok,” He said again not at the part where she lost him.

“He cut through the separating our holding cells.”

“Ok…and he did this with what?”

She sighed.

“A lightsaber.”

Phil paused.

“What color was it?”

Natasha raised a brow.

“That’s your first question.”

“I know it was one of the first things you noticed about it.”

She sighed.

“It was red and before you ask he’s answer was because he pickpocketed the guard’s wallet and what other color would a lightsaber be when you use a villain’s wallet to make it.”

Phil ran a hand down his face.

“You’re telling me Tony Stark made a lightsaber like from Star Wars out of a Hydra agent’s wallet.”

“I’m just telling you what he told me and technically he only needed half the wallet and the credit cards inside. He gave me what remained of the wallet in case I could use it.”

Phil was be pretty sure Natasha was pulling one over on him if not for the fact that she never joked during mission reports. He wasn’t quite yet ready to give Fury’s concerns credit unless this happened again.

 

~

 

2

 

Bucky cursed as he was trapped with Tony with a massive incoming force. He didn’t understand why Sunday was the perfect time for some strange alien invasion and it was the one day Tony didn’t have his suit.

He glanced at the large number of aliens wondering how he could get them out of this alive.

“Here, use this.” Tony said shoving something into his hands when he was still watching the approaching aliens.

“Where the fuck did you get a rocket launcher?”

“I made it; just get us out of here.”

“The fuck did you make this out of? And where are your shoes?”

“I had to use them to make it, I might have used a few other things that were here to but we’ll worry about that later.”

Bucky stared in disbelief before he glanced at the candle store they were in (he liked candle, don’t you judge him).

“You know what; I’m not even going to ask.” He said shaking his head as he used the rocket launcher to clear a path for them.

Later when he was giving his report to Phil he had to repeat himself.

“You’re telling me in the few seconds you turned away Tony Stark made a rocket launcher out of his shoes and some candles.”

“That’s honestly what happened sir, I wouldn’t lie about that.”

Phil looked at said rocket launcher that couldn’t possibly be made with the items Bucky listed. It was well made and honestly Fury would probably love to have several of them but how the holy hell did he make it out of shoes and candles.

“He say how his shoes helped in this task?”

“He said they were very expensive shoes.”

Because of course that was apparently how he made a rocket launcher with expensive shoes. God forbid he had to make a handgun if he’d been wearing cheap shoes. Phil sighed wondering if he was slowly going insane.

 

~

 

3

 

Clint cursed as he didn’t have a bow with him. Why Hydra decided to attack the one day he decided to go out drinking with Tony he didn’t know. He really wished he had his bow with an exploding arrow. It would solve this problem so quickly.

“Here, kick their ass Hawkeye.” Tony said sounding drunk.

Clint had been watching the enemy and when he turned to Tony he was swaying a bit as he held out a bow and arrows.

“Where the hell did you get those?”

“We had enough beer bottles so I made it.”

He stared before he grabbed the items confused as all hell. Tony explained there were exploding arrows there then proceeded to pass out drunk. Clint fired a few arrows taking out the agents before calling Phil for a pick up because he wasn’t dragging Tony’s ass back to the tower. The man was small but he was heavy with the muscle he kept hidden.

“So…he made you a bow.” Phil said when they got back to the tower with thankfully Steve carrying Tony’s drunk ass inside.

“And exploding arrows.”

Phil stared at him a moment before he shook his head.

“This is just ridiculous.”

“I wouldn’t lie to you sir.”

 

~

 

4

 

Loki and Tony had been captured and left in the middle of nowhere to die by someone calling themselves Doom. Apparently Doom didn’t want to kill them himself and just left them…in the middle of the desert…handcuffed and Loki had no strength to break them because frost giant and desert don’t mix. He felt like he was dying.

“We’re going to die.” Loki said feeling himself close to passing out.

“I’ll figure something out Loki, promise.”

Loki passed out. When he came to he was seated comfortably in a seat and there was air conditioning.

“Tony?”

“Hey glad your awake. I built us a jet with what I could get my hands on.”

Loki frowned as he looked at the well-made aircraft that had comfortable seats and air condition.

“What could you have possibly used to craft this?”

“Well I had to use our handcuffs, I found a rattle snake that I unfortunately had to kill but you know it wanted to bite me, and I found the perfect sized cactus to make sure I could build a jet with air conditioning. We’ll be home soon.”

Loki opened his mouth to say he must be lying but then closed it. He’d heard the story of his and Natasha’s capture and escape. This was…he tried to see if it was a lie when he told Phil about it. The man had mumbled he must be insane or this was his personal hell as he walked away.

 

~

 

5

 

 

Steve, Bruce, and Tony ended up getting kidnapped by space pirates and were being held hostage in their hide out. Bruce was knocked out and had yet to wake up but he had a pulse and Steve was trying to figure out how they were going to get home. Tony was looking around where they were tied up saying nothing. Unable to think of a plan as the days went on Steve fell asleep. He was certain he wasn’t out for long before Tony was shaking him away.

“Tony?” He mumbled.

“Shh, get Bruce and get him in the tank. We’re going to bust our way through this space pirate camp and get to their ship, I think I can fly it back home.”

Steve looked up alarmed seeing a full tank sitting there waiting for them.

“How the hell did you make a tank?”

Tony just shrugged.

“I happened to find enough rocks, now let’s go. Not sure they’ll be asleep much longer and I like the element of surprise.”

So that was how Steve ended up telling Phil how Tony build a tank out of rocks which should have been impossible, blew up or ran over all the space pirates, and high jacked their ship back home. Phil called bullshit, Steve told him to watch his language. Everyone was very confused that day.

 

~

 

+1

 

Phil was with the avengers on their rescue mission to save Tony. They weren’t sure why he’d been taken but it was never good when Tony Stark was captured. They arrived at the old warehouse just as the side of the building burst open and a giant robot that oddly resembled a jaeger from the movie Pacific Rim walked out. In the robot’s hand was the man that they knew kidnapped Tony. He was screaming and cursing Tony’s name so the avengers lowered their weapons realizing Tony was in the robot.

He dropped his kidnapper before the robot opened up to let Tony out and because it was Tony Stark the robot transformed into a sports car. Phil didn’t even have the brain cells to question how Tony made a Pacific Rim robot that was also a Transformer in the two hours he had been missing.

“How?” Phil asked.

Tony pointed to his kidnapper.

“Hey he made the mistake of giving me what I asked for.”

“You asked for a water bottle and a magazine, how the hell did you build that with those items?” The man screamed.

“Well if you must know asshole I had to sacrifice my right sock to build this bad boy, do you know how much my socks cost? I mean I can buy more but it’s not the point.”

Phil decided Fury was right but the man would never believe these stories so Phil continues to pretend he’s not slowly going insane and doesn’t mention Fury has a right to be concerned.

 


End file.
